Mommy Files: The Tortoise and The Hare, Our Birth Story

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As you may recall from my final Baby Bump Diary post here, towards the end of my pregnancy doctors became concerned about Baby Sunshine’s weight and wanted to induce as early as 34 weeks. Thus began the race between the tortoise (me) and the hare (Baby Sunshine):

The hare: 40 weeks?! Ain’t nobody got time for that! It’s already been 34 and I’m ready to meet my Momma and Daddy. This here uterus is not for me. I got things to do, places to go, stuff to say! I needs to be on the outside!

The tortoise: 34 weeks?! That is way too early. I’m not ready. We are moving in a few days. The baby shower isn’t for another week. No, no.

The hare: Ma’am….it has now been 37 weeks, argh. I let you have your baby shower and get partially settled in after moving. I’m trying to be nice and not blast you with contractions or any of that water-breaking stuff. Can you please let the docs do what they do and get me outta here?!?

The tortoise: Okay, I’ll bite at 37.5 weeks since that is considered full-term but I want to re-iterate that I want to take my time.

The hare: Woohoo! We finally made it to the hospital. Umm….but what is this High Risk Perinatal place we’re going to? What happened to Labor and Delivery?! Sigh…okay, considering that I’ll have to put up with this lady and depend on her for a good while, I’m going to compromise with her on this whole induction thing. She can have the first 12 hours to go ahead and “get ready”  whatever that means *insert eye roll* but after that, it’s my turn buddy!

The tortoise: Oh wow… 12 hours and still nothing? But I won’t complain, glad Baby Sunshine is pacing herself. I only wish they would let me eat.

The hare: Alright, times up! Take that Cervidil! Let’s get this party started. Hey doc, I told you we don’t need no Cytotec. Just go ‘head and strip the membrane and I got this.

The tortoise: Oh my! What in the world!? What part of take my time did they not understand? Ever since the doc stripped the membrane, these contractions are intense and getting closer and closer.

Nurse: We don’t see anything on the monitor so hang in there.

The tortoise: Okay, I trust that y’all know better than me. I’ll just sit here for the next 12 hours enduring this otherworldly pain O_o.

The hare: Hello? What is going on out there? Do y’all not hear these knocks? I said “I’m ready, let me out!”

Doctor: Okay, it’s been 24 hours. Let’s go ahead and check your……oh my! You are 7 cm. Nurse, we need to get her to Labor and Delivery stat!

>>Medical staff scurry about frantically as the tortoise is wheeled down to Labor and Delivery<<

The tortoise:  My word! I cannot do this for another 12 hours. I give in, epidural please (hangs head & hunches shoulders).

The hare: See this is exactly what I’m tammbout….you give people an inch and this is what happens, smh. Clearly, I’m going to have to take things into my own [tiny] hands.

>> Now in Labor and Delivery almost an hour later, the hare’s playlist plays softly in the background.  There is no one in the room except for the tortoise, her husband, her mom and the L&D nurse. Everyone else has left to prep for delivery. There was a certain casual tranquility in the air at that moment much to the tortoise’s delight.<<

Nurse: Okay, are you ready to push?

The tortoise: Ummmm no. I can’t feel a thing. How do I push if I can’t feel anything.

The hare: Oh lawd…here we go again.

Nurse: Well let’s practice before the doc comes back so that you can get a feel for how to push. Mom, hubby please take your places so that we can do a couple of practice pushes.

The hare: Practice? Are they for real?

Nurse: Okay….push.

The tortoise: Okay…am I pushing?

Nurse: Yep, you’re doing a great job. Let’s practice one more.

The hare: I got your practice, hmph.

Nurse: Okay…and push.

The tortoise: (does what she thinks is push)

Nurse: (screaming) wait, stop!

The tortoise: Huh? I don’t even feel myself pushing. How do I stop?

Nurse: (screaming towards the hallway) Doctor, we need you stat!

The hare: (as she dives out onto the table before anyone could catch her o_o) hey everybody, what it is?

Nurse: (confused) congrats she’s here!

After 26 hours of labor, our hare Ameenah Emanuel was born at 1:31pm on April 1o, 2014. At 4 lbs, 4 oz and 16.5 inches it was hospital protocol that she go to the NICU so that she could be monitored for issues commonly related to low birth weight. She was released with a clean bill of health after only 2 days.

 

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Our birth story didn’t go as planned but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Now at three months, the hare has shown no plans of slowing down as her favorite activities are to stand, talk and scoot. This tortoise has had to quickly learn how to keep up. Thus the story of the tortoise and the hare continues…

 

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  1. What a story! I love it. Practice push! Uhhhhmmmm, I think not. Ameenah was not having it. Congrats on your beautiful baby girl.
    MJ recently posted..Sleep Training: Yes I Cried!My Profile

  2. I love how you did this. This is great. You left “The Hare” dived out on the table before anyone could catch her. That was so amazing to see. I wish I had it on video :0) And she has not stopped & is a joy!

  3. Awesome story. My first birth plan didn’t go as planned either. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!!
    Jenivieve recently posted..Best Toddler Books For BoysMy Profile

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